Partner Observation Questionnaire - Bridge Family Therapy

Partner Observation Questionnaire

Understanding Neurodivergent Traits Through Partner Perspectives

This questionnaire is designed to gather your observations and experiences regarding your partner's daily functioning, communication patterns, and behavioral traits. Your perspective as someone who knows them well in various contexts is invaluable for understanding their support needs and strengths. Please answer based on your direct observations and experiences.

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Basic Information

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Partner's Initials (who is being observed) *

Your Initials (observer) *

Address (Optional)

Part 1: Communication and Social Interaction

Question 1

Indirect Communication

Examples: Missing the hint when you say "it's getting late" to mean "we should leave now," taking sarcastic comments literally, not picking up on social cues that others are ready to end a conversation

How often does your partner seem to misinterpret indirect communication such as hints, sarcasm, or implied meanings?

Never

Rarely

Sometimes

Often

Very Often

Please describe a specific example from your experience:

Question 2

Emotional Expression

Examples: Saying "I don't know" when asked how they feel, showing physical signs of stress without recognizing they're anxious, difficulty naming emotions beyond "good" or "bad"

How would you describe your partner's ability to identify and express their own emotions?

Very Clear

Usually Clear

Sometimes Unclear

Often Unclear

Very Unclear

What strategies have you developed to help understand your partner's emotional state?

Part 2: Sensory and Environmental Responses

Question 3

Sensory Sensitivities

Examples: Becoming irritable in busy restaurants, needing to leave stores with fluorescent lighting, avoiding certain clothing materials, covering ears during fireworks

Which sensory experiences have you noticed affect your partner most significantly? (Check all that apply)

Loud/sudden noises

Bright/fluorescent lights

Crowded spaces

Certain fabric textures

Strong smells/perfumes

Temperature changes

Unexpected touch

Multiple conversations at once

Other sensory sensitivities: How do these sensitivities impact your shared activities or home environment?

Question 4

Response to Change

Examples: Becoming upset when dinner plans change last minute, needing significant preparation time for schedule changes, difficulty when familiar routes are unavailable

How does your partner typically react to unexpected changes in plans or routines?

Very Flexible

Somewhat Flexible

Neutral

Somewhat Rigid

Very Rigid

Describe a specific situation and how you've learned to help:

Part 3: Executive Functioning and Daily Life

Question 5

Task Initiation and Completion

Examples: Starting projects but not finishing them, needing reminders for routine tasks, becoming overwhelmed by multi-step processes, hyperfocusing on one task while others are forgotten

How would you rate your partner's ability to start and complete household or work tasks without external prompts?

Very Independent

Mostly Independent

Sometimes Needs Support

Often Needs Support

Always Needs Support

What organizational systems or supports have been most helpful?

Question 6

Time Awareness

Examples: Consistently late despite good intentions, thinking a 2-hour project will take 30 minutes, losing track of time during enjoyable activities, not noticing hours have passed

How accurately does your partner estimate how long tasks will take?

Very Accurate

Usually Accurate

Sometimes Accurate

Rarely Accurate

Very Inaccurate

What strategies help with time management in your household?

Part 4: Emotional Regulation

Question 7

Overwhelm Response

Examples: Going non-verbal, pacing or fidgeting more, snapping at minor inconveniences, shutting down during conversations, needing to leave situations abruptly

When your partner becomes overwhelmed or frustrated, which signs do you notice first? (Check all that apply)

Withdrawal/silence

Increased irritability

Physical restlessness

Difficulty making decisions

Repetitive behaviors

Changes in speech patterns

Sensory seeking/avoiding

Other signs of overwhelm: What helps your partner regulate during these times?

Question 8

Recovery Patterns

Examples: Needing the rest of the evening to recover from a conflict, requiring quiet time after social events, extended processing time after unexpected changes

After an emotionally intense situation, how long does it typically take your partner to return to their baseline mood?

Less than 30 minutes

30 minutes - 2 hours

2-6 hours

6-24 hours

More than 24 hours

What type of support from you is most helpful during recovery?

Part 5: Relationship Dynamics

Question 9

Communication Adaptations

Examples: Saying exactly what you mean rather than hinting, texting important information even when together, giving advance notice of serious conversations

Which communication style works best with your partner? (Check all that apply)

Direct, literal language

Written lists or texts

Visual aids or examples

One topic at a time

Processing time before responding

Structured conversations

Avoiding metaphors

Other communication adaptations: Describe the most effective communication adaptation you've made:

Question 10

Relationship Strengths

Examples: Remembering every anniversary, noticing patterns others miss, passionate sharing of interests, innovative solutions to problems, consistent daily routines

What unique strengths does your partner bring to your relationship? (Check all that apply)

Loyalty and dedication

Attention to detail

Unique perspective/creativity

Deep knowledge of interests

Honesty and directness

Problem-solving abilities

Predictability/reliability

Other strengths: What aspect of your partner's neurodivergent traits do you most appreciate?

Part 6: Patterns and Observations

Question 11

Social Energy Management

Examples: Needing to be alone after parties, becoming non-verbal after meetings, requiring "recovery days" after family gatherings, seeming fine during events but crashing afterward

How does your partner's behavior or energy typically change after social events?

More energized

Slightly tired

Moderately exhausted

Completely drained

Varies significantly

Have you noticed your partner "preparing" for or "recovering" from social situations? Please describe:

Question 12

Routines and Rituals

Examples: Eating the same breakfast daily, specific bedtime routines, particular order for morning tasks, distress when routines are disrupted, using routines to manage anxiety

How important are daily routines for your partner's wellbeing?

Not Important

Somewhat Important

Moderately Important

Very Important

Essential

Which routine disruptions cause the most difficulty and why?

Question 13

Special Interests and Focus

Examples: Talking about one topic for hours, extensive knowledge in specific areas, difficulty switching topics, collections or research projects, losing track of time when engaged

How would you describe your partner's engagement with their interests or hobbies?

Casual interest

Regular hobby

Strong enthusiasm

Intense focus

All-consuming passion

How do these interests impact daily life and your relationship?

Part 7: Your Experience and Insights

Question 14

Learning and Understanding

What has been most challenging for you to understand about your partner's needs? (Check all that apply)

Communication differences

Sensory needs

Social limitations

Emotional expression

Need for routine

Processing time

Executive functioning

Other challenges: What resources or insights have been most helpful for you?

Question 15

Successful Strategies

Examples: Weekly relationship meetings, texting needs clearly, having designated quiet spaces, warning before changes, using shared digital calendars

Which strategies have most improved your relationship? (Check all that apply)

Scheduled check-ins

Written communication

Separate spaces

Planned transitions

Shared calendars

Routine date nights

Explicit expectations

Other successful strategies: Describe your most successful relationship adaptation:

Question 16

Support Needs

As a partner, what kind of support would be most helpful for you? (Check all that apply)

Education about neurodivergence

Couples therapy

Support groups

Respite care

Communication tools

Books/resources

Professional guidance

Other support needs: What specific question or challenge would you most like help addressing?

Additional Observations

Question 17

Unique Patterns

Examples: Specific triggers you've identified, unique coping strategies your partner has developed, patterns that seem contradictory

Are there any behavioral patterns or traits you've noticed that don't fit typical categories?

Question 18

Relationship Evolution

Examples: Early misunderstandings that are now clear, adaptations that developed naturally, awareness that came with experience

How has your understanding of your partner's needs changed over time?

Question 19

Important Context

Examples: Cultural considerations, past experiences that impact current functioning, family dynamics, health conditions

What else would be helpful for support providers to understand about your partner or your relationship?

Question 20

Final Thoughts

What advice would you give to other partners in similar relationships?